I come here after reading corroborating information from various websites about real vampires, after focusing on the information that overlaps between various sources, because I find that I identify. One common factor linking the presentation of real vampires is the downplaying of the perceived awesomeness of vampirism in favor of emphasizing the alienation and isolation that comes with being a vampire. Alienation and isolation, I identify with.

My relationship with humans began with being disemboweled (cloacal exstrophy) and having my tail cut off (myelomeningeocele spina bifida) at birth because I didn't turn out how humans expected. Okay, so that's aggressive hyperbole exemplifying the brutal means that humans have repeatedly employed to keep me alive over the years. Meanwhile, the naive and compassionate but controlling and judgmental try to medicate our mutual discomfort by treating me like some kind of house pet rather than a person; nice to have around and pamper but not worth listening to, heeding, or empowering (depsite continual compliments on my intelligence and strength; perhaps the novelty of them gives people a quick and easy lift and that's all they desire). The times I do get out on my own, my appearance of weakness draws predators and scavengers until I find myself fending off an entirely different sector of the population who see me as something other than a person. Harvard University reports 76% of the population has a subconscious bias against handicapped people like me. How could I not identify with being treated as an anomalous?

What I seek is someone who identifies with my mind, my personality, my soul (if there is such a thing). That is where my moral and material support base of well-intentioned friends and family fall short. They mean well. They just don't get me. As an example, I'm told that I obsessively-compulsively meta-analyze. This often leaves me thinking about processes that span generations and affect nations while the mundanes around me contemplate what's on television or gossip about events that span the recent few days at most. I have also experienced several near-death experiences that left me aware but without the mind's fabricated coping mechanisims. After experiencing that, going back to and essentially being imprisoned in the mundane world is not only frustrating, it is maddening.

My hope is to find an old vampire, someone who may tend to think and perceive on a different scale than the average human. I have no idea how long real vampires live, but most information I have seen so far indicates a somewhat extended lifespan. If this is not the case, my understanding is that vampires tend to be highly intelligent, even psychic, and thus possessed of a different sphere of undertanding. That is what brings me here, not some desire to be "turned" or treated as a juice bag or a plaything... well, the latter is up for discussion if you turn out to be the right woman. But I digress. The point is, I seek an old soul or at least a broader mind; someone I can connect with on a level other than the mundane.

As for me, I am experienced at energy play but out of practice when it comes to working with individuals. My scrambled nervous system has instead developed an intense and intimate connection with weather, and that's where I thrive, particularly during thunderstorms. As for blood play and donating, humans have been sticking me with sharps for almost forty years now, so pointy things do not intimidate me. But I'm usually on at least a couple of medicines, and I suffer frequent infection, so I'm not sure how palatable or nourishing my blood/energy would be. Otherwise, I'm something of a domestic djinn, good to have around the house, particularly the kitchen. I spend most of my time attending to my health, home, and housecat, and I work freelance from home when time and health allow (writing, music, tv/film, game design, invention; I'm a creative eclectic).

My ultimate goal here is to find a real vampire I can share time, thoughts, energy, and actual space with. That said, I'm not rushing into anything, but please respond if any of this resonates with or intrigues you.